A driver is stuck in a traffic jam on the highway. Nothing is moving.
Suddenly, a man knocks on the window. The driver rolls down the window and asks “What’s going on?”
The man says, “Terrorists have kidnapped Congress, and are asking for a $10 million dollar ransom. Otherwise they are going to douse them all in gasoline and set them on fire. We are going from car to car taking up a collection.”
“How much is everyone giving, on average?” Asks the driver.
The man replies, “about a gallon.”
The Economy Fix
There recently was an article in the St. Petersburg Times (Florida) under the Business Section. The article asked readers for ideas on: “How Would You Fix the Economy?”.
I think this response nailed it!
Dear Mr. President,
Please find below my suggestion for fixing America ‘s economy.
Instead of giving billions of dollars to companies that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following “Patriotic Retirement”:
There are about 40 million people over 50 in the work force. Pay them $1 million each in severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:
1) They MUST retire. Now we have forty million job openings…Unemployment fixed.
2) They MUST buy a new AMERICAN Car. Forty million cars ordered… Auto Industry fixed.
3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage -
Housing Crisis fixed.
It can’t get any easier than that!
P.S. If more money is needed, have all members in Congress pay their taxes. While you’re at it, make Congress retire on Social Security and Medicare. I’ll bet both programs would be fixed pronto!