February 2012
11 posts
11 tags
Ad in Doctor's Office
I’m sure that you have seen pharmaceutical advertising in doctor’s offices on everything from tissues to notepads. In my book this one should get first prize!
I emailed this to my Chinese doctor friend. He emailed back: “If light stay on for more than 4 hour, call erect-trician.”
9 tags
I Smell Carrots.. (image)
5 tags
Zombie Treadmill Defense (Image)
11 tags
Paraprosdokians
Paraprosdokians is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anticlimax. For this reason, it is extremely popular among comedians and satirists.
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7 tags
A New Word Is Born..
I knew someone would find a name for our election process for this year.
ELECTILE DYSFUNCTION: The inability to become aroused over any of the choices for President put forth by either party in the 2012 election year.
8 tags
Good Samaritans...
A guy in a bar was about as drunk as it’s possible to get. A group of guys notice his condition and decide to be good Samaritans and take him home. First they stand him up to get to his wallet so they can find out where he lives, but he keeps falling down. He fell down eight more times on the way to the car, each time with a real thud. After they get to his house, he falls down another...
6 tags
Baptizing a Drunk
A man is stumbling through the woods totally drunk when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. The drunk walks into the water and bumps into the preacher.
The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of booze. Whereupon he asks the drunk, ‘Are you ready to find Jesus?’ ‘Yes I am’ replies the drunk, so the preacher grabs him and dunks him...
10 tags
Redneck Hanging Basket (image)
7 tags
BS Bag (image)
12 tags
Heart Attack
A blonde gets home from work early & hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. She rushes upstairs only to find her husband naked lying on the bed, sweating and panting.
‘What’s up?’ she asks. ‘I think I’m having a heart attack,’ - cries the husband..
The blonde rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as she’s dialling, her...
12 tags
Math Homework..
A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself, “Two plus five, the son of a b!tch is seven. Three plus six, the son of a b!tch is nine…” His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, “What are you doing?” The little boy answered, “I’m doing my math homework, Mom.” “And this is how your teacher taught you to do...
