August 2011
36 posts
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More Funny Pictures
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Funny Old Ads (Pictures)
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Funny Pictures
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4 Worms in Church
A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon. Four worms were placed into four separate jars. The first worm was put into a container of alcohol. The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke. The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup. The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.
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A great comic from RealLifeComics.com
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Dumb, Dumber, and Dumbest
Three Hillbillies are sitting on a porch shootin’ the breeze.
1st Hillbilly says: ’My wife sure is stupid!…She bought an air conditioner. ‘
2nd Hillbilly says: ‘Why is that stupid?’
1st Hillbilly says: ’We ain’t got no ‘lectricity!’
2nd Hillbilly says: ’That’s nothin’! My wife is so stupid, she bought one of them...
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Mathematics
This comes from 2 math teachers with a combined total of 70 yrs. experience.
It has an indisputable mathematical logic. It also made me Laugh Out Loud.
This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint…it goes like this:
What Makes 100%?
What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?
Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?
We have all been to those meetings...
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Ass Truck (Picture)
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Yom Kippur
“Hi. This is Sarah Palin. Is Senator Lieberman in?”
“No, Governor. This is Yom Kippur.”
“Well, hello,Yom. Can I leave a message?”
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From the Sheriff's office...
The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals.
The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude...
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Catholic ... Last Rites
A bus on a busy street struck a Catholic man.
He was lying near death on the sidewalk as a crowd gathered.
“A priest. Somebody get me a priest!” the man gasped.
Long seconds dragged on but no one stepped out of the crowd.
A policeman checked the crowd and finally yelled, “A PRIEST, PLEASE! Isn’t there a priest in this crowd to give this man his last...
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Christmas with the Sproutifarts! →
Bored? This website will kill a few minutes and, probably, create much laughter! Turn up those speakers! :)
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WatchSide Effects of Chinese Breast Implants…
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Offensive, But Funny...
I’d just come out of the shop with a meat and potato pie, large chips, mushy peas & a jumbo sausage. A poor homeless man sat there and said, ‘I’ve not eaten for two days.’ I told him, ‘I wish I had your will power.’
I took my Biology exam last Friday. I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells. Apparently “Blacks” and...
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It all began with an iPhone...
March was when my son celebrated his 15th birthday and I got him an iPhone. He just loved it. Who wouldn’t?
I celebrated my birthday in July and my wife made me very happy when she bought me an iPad.
My daughter’s birthday was in August so I got her an iPod Touch.
September came by, so for my wife’s birthday I bought her an iRon.
It was around then that the...
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A Wish To Live Forever...
I met a fairy today. She said she would grant me one wish.
“I want to live forever,” I said.
“Sorry,” said the fairy, “I’m not allowed to grant wishes like that.”
“Fine,” I said, “then I want to die after Congress gets its head out of its ass!”
“You crafty bastard,” said the fairy.
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Offshore Drilling (Picture)
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Some Celebrity Quotes About Sex (Pictures)
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Funny Signs (Text)
Another submission by a fan — thank you!
Did I read that sign right? TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW In a Laundromat: AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT In a Memphis department store: BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS In an office: WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE ...
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The Times We Live In (Pictures)
These pictures were sent in by a fan — thank you!
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A Responsible Texan...
This funny was sent in by a fan — thank you!
While hiking down along the border this morning, I saw a Muslim extremist fall into the Rio Grande River; he was struggling to stay afloat because of all the guns and bombs he was carrying.
Along with him was a Mexican Mule who was also struggling to stay afloat because of the large backpack of drugs...
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A lawyer and senior citizen...
A lawyer and a senior citizen are sitting next to each other on a long flight. The lawyer is thinking that seniors are so dumb that he could get one over on them easily. So, the lawyer asks if the senior would like to play a fun game. The senior is tired...
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Clean underwear
Always wear clean underwear in public, especially when working under your vehicle. From the Daily News comes this story of a Leicester couple who drove their car to ASDA, only to have their car break down in the car park. The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car. ...
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WatchListen carefully to the disclaimer… :)
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How Dinosaurs became extinct (Photo)
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Blessed be the children...
1) NUDITY I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, ‘Mom, that lady isn’t wearing a seat belt!’ 2) OPINIONS On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his...
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Riddles
1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator? Stop and think about it and decide on your answer before you scroll down.
The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way. 2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
Did you say, Open the refrigerator,...
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Bus Trip
Two bowling teams, one of all Blondes and one of all Brunettes, charter a double-Decker bus for a weekend trip to Louisiana.
The Brunette team rode on the bottom of the bus, and the Blonde team rode on the top level.
The Brunette team down below really whooped it up, having a great time, when one of them realized she hadn’t heard anything from the Blondes...
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The Bridge (Picture)
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House (Picture Funny)
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The Difference Between Grandmothers & Grandfathers
Have you ever wondered what the difference is between Grandmothers and Grandfathers? Well, here it is… There was this loving Grandfather who always made a special effort to spend time with his son’s family on weekends. Every Saturday morning he would take his 7-year-old granddaughter out for a drive in the car for some quality time — just him and his granddaughter. One particular...
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Hospital Bill
A man suffered a serious heart attack while shopping in a store.
The store clerks called an ambulance when they saw him collapse to the floor. The paramedics rushed the man to the nearest hospital where he had emergency open heart bypass surgery. He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at the Catholic Hospital he was taken to. ...
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Secrets to a long happy marriage (Picture)
